2013

Happy new year everyone!!

Here's a quote for all of us to ponder..

-A <3

“Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.”

— Brad Paisley

Somebody Save Me

I'm dying to see his face and feel his lips on mine.

I'm still dreaming of the day he'll come and save me from the lunacy life's giving me.

Every tick of the clock makes me impatient to heed him closer and never let him go...

-A <3

Untitled

Here I am again, making myself stupid thinking of you.

How I wish you think of me too.

I'ts not so long since we drifted apart,

and the space that was once yours is still empty.

I've met a lot of people who tried to mend my broken heart

but none of them could fill the emptiness.

I wish you're happy wherever you are.

I don't want to be drowned in an ocean of tears.

But I don't know how to get over you.

You've done a great job teaching me how to love.

But you failed to teach me how to forget.

-A <3

I Miss You

My words are deep as my thoughts get steep.

Haven't I been wasted with nights of no sleep?

Gone are the days of sweet forever,

   today's nothing more than a game over.

You've won and I lost,

   but I'm willing to bring everything back even at my life's cost.

You can't run away from me that fast,

   not until my breath's gone to last.

I know of a place where you've come to hide,

   where thoughts of me are left snide.

You're just too dumb to realize,

   that I was too smart for all your lies.

Hell! I am at a loss for words to say,

   why can't you just come back to me and stay?

I know sometimes I'm stubborn as a child,

   but isn't that the reason why it's me you've liked?

I know you've had enough,

   but don't you wish the sound of my laugh?

You promised me happiness,

   but why is it I'm reaping sadness?

Life is really so unfair!

   why can't I have someone better?

I thought we'll stay forever,

   but now I realized it's so never!

-A <3

Looking Back...

So, as I was leafing through the pages of my old composition book, I realized that apart from being sooo melodramatic, I was also really talented back then. Haha! Just kidding!

*crickets*

Pouts.

Yeah, yeah. I know. I've got a retarded sense of humor.

Sigh.

But that's not the point of this post.

Let me just share some of what I've written.

I've got to warn you first, though.

Those were a product of my so-called "broken heart" back then.

Ugh! Forgive me for all the dramas. =/

So, yeah. Just be prepared for the posts that're coming.

Sorry for the bitterness, awkwardness, and awful lot of "achy-breaky" heart antics from my teenage years.

So here goes...

It's 'coz I've Got Nothing to Blog About

Right Through the Heart

"...aayawan mo ang isang tao hindi dahil pagod ka na, kundi dahil nawawalan ka na ng dahilan o paraan para gustuhin pa sya."

Lucid Dreaming

I really really really have tried it many times but I always lose consciousness before I even realize it.. Sigh.

Say I love You

Reading manga to kill time.. \^_^/

"People betray each other all the time and at school it's just a bunch of idiots who need someone to bully...

...They call you when it suits them but when you call them they don't come."

 

What Your Room Says About You

#9 Hoarders

When you become a hoarder your room has piles and piles of stuff you will never get rid of, nor do you want to get rid of. It shows how possessive a person is and how they can not let go of the past, even when it is just junk.

(Source: tinybytes.me)

OMFG! This is so just me!

Bakit Ako Single?

I was running out of topics to write about, and as I was browsing the contents of some random website, I stumbled into a topic entitled "Bakit Single ang mga Single?" and there was like, maybe top ten reasons listed. Some of which, I can't relate to. So I thought I'd also make a blog post about my reasons for being single. So here goes...

5. It is my choice.

    Right, so yeah.. No further explanations. :p

4. I'm super busy.

    So busy that I've got no time to socialize and meet new people.

3. I've got no suitors. :(

    Maybe it's a product of having no social life and having a few acquaintances.

2. I still am not able to find Mr. Right.

    Lamest excuse I can think of. Sorry! ^_^v

1. I don't see myself having a husband and children in the future.

    I don't know, I guess I am never ready to be in a relationship. Ever.

So you see? These are the reasons why. I am not closing any doors for some possibility though. The reasons aren't absolute. Who knows? Maybe two or five years from now, what's written on this list might be changed.

-A <3

15-12-2012

Delusional

Love me or hate me,

I don't like it when people stare at me.

It's as if I'm someone from their favorite movie,

or maybe some random goddess from the Greek mythology.

You're right at some point, baby.

I'll fail at some psych. test, probably.

I seem to be so full of myself.

I tend to be delusional, mind if you lend me help?

I'm broken at some point.

You'll probably judge me, or you won't.

What you think, I really don't mind.

For such criticisms, I seem to be blind.

-A <3

14-12-2012

Sayonara

Earphones on, volume's up.

Ignoring the world and all its bluffs.

Lying here all alone,

thinking of things that are still unknown.

I can't still fathom why you left,

breaking me and the promises you kept.

I know I shouldn't have trusted you from the start,

and it's wrong to blame you for my shattered heart.

The things we had wasn't mine to keep,

they're better be buried more than six feet deep.

Remembering them just makes me sick,

I wish I could just forget you with a wand's flick.

So farewell now my love.

I'm setting you free, free as a dove.

May you find what you're looking for,

and don't you ever dare come knocking at my door.

Forgiveness is yet to come,

but don't expect me to spare you some.

Go on now and don't look back.

Whomever you may love, I'm wishing you luck.

-A <3

13-12-2012

Random Thought

I really like how it feels when I sharpen a pencil and I get to turn on a new page of my composition book.

*sigh*

A Moment of Silence

Crickets humming...

Insects buzzing...

My ears are ringing,

with thoughts in my mind swirling.

I'm singing a song,

and I wonder to whom it belongs.

Pouring my heart out with every word,

expressing the feelings I kept untold.

I'm not that good at words,

forgive me for being cold.

This mask I wear,

hides the feelings I continue to bear.

I thank God for this moment of silence.

In this state of noiselessness, I find peace and happiness.

My soul seeks for solace,

I find it in a moment of silence.

-A <3

12/11/12

Note to Self

You're doing great!

Just don't mind what other people think.

The Time You Enjoy Wasting is Not Wasted Time

If you had forever, you could check out every single piece of straw in the haystack, one by one, to see if it was the needle."

-Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn

I've got a lot of free time and I've got nothing to do.

So I'm re-reading The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn for the nth time.

-A <3

Forgive me

I'm going through something and I'm not myself lately so I am not able to post updates that are worth reading.

Sorry!!

-A <3

Randomness

My phone's wrecked, and I just feel sorry for myself.

Sigh.

It can still be repaired, but then I've decided I don't want to spend money anymore.

It just sucks.

I feel like I'm missing a limb or a part of my body.

Ugh! I'm pathetic. =/

Note to self

You don't need to explain yourself to people who don't believe anything you say.

That Type of Relationship

Pseudo relationship a.k.a. False relationship a.k.a. Rebound relationship

Ito yung mga relationships na nag-eexist right after a breakup.

Tipong kakabreak nyo lang ng boyfriend/girlfriend mo 2 weeks ago, tapos eto ka na naman may bagong love life.

Yung totoo?!

Naka-move on ka na ba ng lagay na yan, o panakip-butas lang yan?

Huwag mo kong sasagutin ng "Kahit na anong sabihin mo, mahal ko sya. Mahal ko sya sa paraang alam ko." Pakiusap, huwag na huwag mong isasagot sa akin yan!

Panakip-butas lang yan. 

Rebound.

Sabi ng professor ko, nasa 2-8 months ang recovery period/moving on period ng isang normal na tao.

Kaya naman any relationships na mag-ooccur within 1 month after getting your heart broken eh walang patutunguhan. Maniwala ka saken.

Nasaktan ka na, makakasakit ka pa.

Maawa ka naman sa tao.

Be mature enough to face your problems alone.

Sabi ko nga sa nakaraang post ko, "Love when you're ready, not when you're lonely."

Love is the most special feeling of all, lagi mong tandaan yan.

Kaya huwag na huwag kang gagawa ng mga bagay na makakapagpabago ng perception ng ibang tao sa salitang yan.

-A <3

Chapter 3

Just when I thought I've written that much already, I ended up having a two-page update. And I'm sorry for that.

You can read it here. ^_^

-A <3

An Untitled Love Story

I found this written on my old composition book and it's dated January 26, 2009. It has no title on it, but let me just share it here. ^_^

It's as if the world has gone at its end when you left me.

I thought that it was the hardest problem I had ever encountered.

I had no idea that there was more...

When I was helpless, he came to ease up the pain that nearly took away my sanity.

Every night he stood by my side, reminding me that the world's still revolving in spite of your absence.

He was there to make sure I won't be a slave of my sanity, to make sure I won't forget to breathe every moment I wake up.

At first I was selfish, I let him do the things that you ought to be doing. But one day I woke up with the realization that I'm falling for him.

I never doubted 'cause I knew what he feels. I went on with the flow... I've let myself get addicted and once again commit the same mistake- FALL FOR LOVE...

With him, I've done the things that I forgot to do when we were together.. And with that, I was able to get over you...

I tried to be optimistic, I never thought that one day I'll suffer the same pain or maybe more...

It's not only because I valued him more than I did for you, but because with him I was able to turn down my pride and forget about my damn principles. I gave him all that I wasn't able to give you...

But then again all my sacrifices were not enough to make him stay...

Just like what you did, he also left.

And as usual, I did nothing. I've got no choice.

He used to ask me about the sadness in my eyes...

I usually tell him that there aren't reasons to stay happy...

I liked it when he does that, 'cause then I can sense love emanating from his eyes.

I usually felt better because it's as if it's his responsibility to make me happy. It's as if God has answered my prayers. That at last, someone has loved me truly. The kind of love that serves as an anesthetic that will save me from suffering.

But for the second time, I lost my sanity.

The pain ripped me more intensely because I was betrayed.

He made me fall for him but he didn't catch me.

He's more cruel than you are for at least you haven't planned on hurting me. You didn't even force me to fall for you.. I just did unconsciously.

I'm very much hurt but I don't want to cry anymore.

I've made myself believe that I have no more tears to cry for and that made me numb.

Then next time, when thousands of men like you and him entered my life, I will never be a slave of sadness..

I don't plan to love again, but when I do, I'll be sure I would be the best player.

Love causes vulnerability and I don't wanna be vulnerable.

Time will come and I know God will get tired of making me unhappy...

I would then be able to avenge to those who made my life miserable...

And when that time comes, I would make sure they'll hate every minute of their lives and beg me to end it by killing them...

No mercy can save their lives, I will be able to laugh out loud.

It's kinda dark and bitter. Forgive me.
-A <3

The List

Naka move on ka na kung...

1. Hindi ka na nag-eexpect ng kahit na anong txt mula sa kanya.

2. Hindi ka na nae-excite magreply pag nag-txt sya.

3. Hindi mo na sya naiisip paggising mo o bago ka matulog.

4. Sa mga pagkakataong maiisip mo sya, wala na yung kurot sa dibdib mo.

5. Kaya mo nang tingnan ang profile page nya sa facebook.

6. Wala ka nang pakialam kung "in a relationship" man ang facebook status nya.

7. Matatawa o mapapangiti ka na lang pag naiisip mo sya.

8. Kaya mo nang sabihin ang "congratulations" o "good luck" sa kanya at sa bago nya.

9. Wala ka nang kahit na anong "bitterness" na nararamdaman.

10. Handa ka nang magmahal ulit.


And the list goes on and on.

Marami ka pang mga bagay na pwedeng idagdag sa listahan na yan.

Pero isa lang ang punto ko, naka move on ka kung mahal mo na ng sobra ang sarili mo para i-share ang pagmamahal na 'yun sa iba.

'Yun bang tipong handa ka na ulit magmahal at masaktan.

Remember: You can't give what you don't have.

And you can't give love if you don't love yourself that much.

And most importantly, love when you're ready, not when you're lonely.

-A <3

An Open Prayer

Lord, thank you for all your blessings.

Thank you for the gift of life, and for another opportunity to start anew.

Today I've learned that I am not alone.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be friends with people who have such big hearts.

I feel so blessed and I can't think of words to describe how thankful I am.

I realized there are people who are willing to extend both of their hands to help me even if I haven't expected them to.

I feel sorry for committing sins to you, to my family and to the people around me.

Please help me to be a better person.

Amen.

Chapter 2

"The night wind blows softly in my cheeks.

I wonder what time of the day it is now.

I've been walking for like, a few minutes already and I still haven't found that

house by the church.

Exactly how many church does this place have?

I groaned inwardly.

I knew I should've counted the steps I took."

I just posted another part of my story.. ^_^

Check it out here.

Read. Comment and Vote.

Thank you! ^_^

-A <3

LSS

"Minsan hindi ko maintindihan

Parang ang buhay natin ay napagti-tripan

Medyo malabo yata ang mundo

Binabasura ng iba ang syang pinapangarap ko..."

-Parokya ni Edgar, Halaga

Puno ng mga ironies ang buhay.

Yung gusto mo, ayaw sayo dahil yung taong yun, may gustong iba pero ayaw din sa kanya.

Yung taong ayaw mo, may gusto sayo. Pero ayaw mo sa kanya dahil nga may gusto kang iba.

We always want what we can't have.

Parang cycle lang.

At minsan ang nangyayari pa, kung kelan ayaw mo na, saka ka naman gugustuhin nung taong may ayaw sayo.

Tama nga si Pareng Chito.

MALABO.

Wala akong alam na scientific rationale sa mga ganitong pangyayari.

Ang alam ko lang, hindi talaga binibigay ni God ang lahat.

Bakit?

Para kailanganin natin Sya.

May mga sarili Syang dahilan.

Hindi man natin alam ngayon pero malalaman natin sa tamang panahon.

Kaya kayo mga parekoy, tiwala lang.

God has better plans. ^_^

-A <3

Self Sacrifice

The epitome of leadership.

It's thinking less of yourself and more of other people.

I've attended a leadership seminar a week ago, and this is what I learnt from it.

Administering medications, taking care of sick people, being there for the patients and their families at the lowest moments of their lives, being able to do these tasks, requires self sacrifice.

Being a nurse means having a BIG heart.

Nursing for me is the noblest of all the noble professions.

Why?

I've come to fully understand life when I've become a nursing student.

For me, the experience I get from it is enough to change the way I perceive life.

It's a privilege to be someone to whom people entrust their lives with.

Dealing with lives I guess is the hardest duty of all, but then, I am happy to be of great help to people, and somehow, I hope the littlest of all things that I am able to share to them would change their lives as they continue to change mine.

-A <3

Amoris et Fidei

Love and Faith

They're like 1 + 1 = 2

You can't have the sum without one of the addends.

Love without faith is nothing.

Faith without love is useless.

You can't tell a person you love him/her without having faith.

Likewise, you can't have faith on that person if you don't love him/her.

Love and faith go hand in hand.

Both are essential in life.

One does not exist without the other.

One word: INSEPARABLE.

-A <3

What Your Pimples Are Trying to Tell You

1 & 2: Digestive System — Eat less processed or junk food, reduce the amount of fat in your diet, step up water intake and opt for cooling things like cucumbers.

3: Liver — Cut out the alcohol, greasy food and dairy. This is the zone where food allergies also show up first, so take a look at your ingredients. Besides all this, do 30 minutes of light exercise every day and get adequate sleep so your liver can rest.

4 & 5: Kidneys — Anything around the eyes (including dark circles) point to dehydration. Drink up!

6: Heart — Check your blood pressure (mine was slightly high) and Vitamin B levels. Decrease the intake of spicy or pungent food, cut down on meat and get more fresh air. Besides this, look into ways to lower cholesterol, like replacing “bad fats” with “good fats” such as Omegas 3 and 6 found in nuts, avocados, fish and flax seed. Also, since this area is chock-full of dilated pores, check that your makeup is not past its expiry date or is skin-clogging.

7 & 8: Kidneys — Again, drink up! And cut down on aerated drinks, coffee and alcohol as these will cause further dehydration.

Zone 9 & 10: Respiratory system — Do you smoke? Have allergies? This is your problem area for both. If neither of these is the issue, don’t let your body overheat, eat more cooling foods, cut down on sugar and get more fresh air. Also keep the body more alkaline by avoiding foods that make the body acidic (meat, dairy, alcohol, caffeine, sugar) and adding more alkalizing foods like green veggies and wheat grass juice. Another thing that most of forget – dirty cell phones and pillow cases are two of the top acne culprits and this area is what they affect the most!

Zone 11 & 12: Hormones — This is the signature zone for stress and hormonal changes. And while both are sometimes unavoidable, you can decrease their effect by getting adequate sleep, drinking enough water, eating leafy veggies and keeping skin scrupulously clean. Another interesting point: breakouts in this area indicate when you are ovulating (and on which side).

Zone 13: Stomach — Step up the fiber intake, reduce the toxin overload and drink herbal teas to help with digestion.

14: Illness — Zits here can be a sign that your body is fighting bacteria to avoid illness. Give it a break, take a yoga class, take a nap, take time to breathe deeply, drink plenty of water and know that everything always works out!

So the next time you break out or notice dark under-eye circles, look to your face map: your skin is probably trying to communicate on behalf of the internal organs. However, do remember that, as with all medical issues, it is always best to see your doctor or dermatologist for a proper prognosis. This is just a general guide to head you off in the right investigative direction – just because you break out between the brows doesn't always mean you have a bad liver!

One of my professors already told me about this fact a long time ago, but she wasn't able to explain it really well. Credits to Beben-eleben for the info! I've found it on his tumblr blog :)

Fondaparinux

Fondaparinux (trade name Arixtra) is an anticoagulant medication chemically related to low molecular weight heparins.
          -Wikipedia

It's the first day our RLE/hospital duty for the second sem.

(For those who don't know, I'm a nursing student. *winks*)

So, anyways, for the second time, my group was assigned at the ICU, this time with a different clinical instructor.

If I'd be 100% honest, I'll tell you guys that I came to the area mentally unprepared. (I'm a little bit ashamed to admit it though)

I didn't read any books, nor my notes prior to the duty day.


But then, as people always say, "Hope for the best, expect for the worst."

I was given a patient who has a diagnosis of Acute Coronary Syndrome: Non ST Elevation Myocardial Infarction K II.

At first I was like, "Shit! What the hell does that mean?"


Luckily, I was paired with another group mate, making the work less tedious and less stressful.

And I've made it through the end of the shift without making any harm to the patient.
(I'm not so proud of myself for that.)

And here's what I've learned today, aside from fondaparinux: 

>Not all people will always be there to help you. So you always have to trust yourself. And God.

>Read, read, and read.

>Humility (aside from common sense) is always important.

>It's okay to believe in yourself, but as a famous saying goes, "Everything in excess is bad."


-A<3

Just another product of my imaginations

I finally had the courage to post my works. \^o^/

Here's the cover of it.

Sorry for the bad quality. Hindi ako magaling mag-edit >.<

Here's the wattpad link.. ^_^ The Breakup Guide